Monday 9 May 2016

Thoughts and feelings #1

Hello. It's me
I'm sorry that I haven't posted on here this year. In all honesty. I really lost the passion to write. I feel like maybe doing something differently might make me want to write more. So I'm just going to post rambles about my life, what i'm thinking, what i'm feeling, est. I just want to let go of all of my thoughts and feelings. People might not really enjoy these posts. But I'm really just doing them for myself. I might start doing posts like I used to make. I just need to get back into blogging again.
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I feel like I standing on earth. The world is moving, people are going to work, hanging with friends, snuggling up to a significant other. I'm I'm completely alone. Standing still while the world goes by me. Everybody else has a plan. They know what they want to study, what job they want, when they will get married, when they will have kids, est est. While I have no fucking idea at all. Everyone is so sorted, and I'm just unsorted. Miscellaneous. Unimportant. A nobody. When I'm around people, I wish that I was what I feel like I am. Alone. I would rather be invisible then have to put up with people glaring at me when I enter a room, there eyes piercing into me. I guess that it would be alright if I had some friends. I haven't made any since I started collage. But to be fair, there isn't anyone that I would really get on with. I had such a good plan for collage.I would be finally doing what I enjoy, I would be away from people who knew my past, so in a way, I could re-invent myself. New friends, the lot. But like with many dreams in life, it never works out the way you Want. Didn't make new friends, I hate my course, and I'm still that unhappy person that I was in secondary school. I'm just glad that collage finishes in June. I still don't know what I want to do next year. But I could have a chance to re-invent myself again...